Funny Construction Humor

Latest Casino News 28 Mar , 2017 0

Six Phases of a Construction Project:

1) Enthusiasm

2) Disillusionment

3) Panic

4) Search For The Guilty

5) Punishment Of The Innocent

6) Praise & Honors For The Non-Participants

Directory of Construction Terminology:

Contractor - A gambler that never gets to cut, shuffle or deal.

Bid Opening - A poker game where the losing hand wins.

Bid - A wild guess carried out to two decimal places.

Low Bidder - A contractor who is wondering why he's left out.

Engineer's Estimate - The cost of construction in heaven.

Project Manager - The conductor of an orchestra in which every musician is in a different union.

Critical Path Method - A management technique for losing your shirt under personal control.

OSHA - A protective coating made by half-baking a mixture of fine print, red tape, split hairs, and
baloney - usually applied at random with a shotgun.

Strike - An effort to increase egg production by strangling the chicken.

Delayed Payment - A tourniquet applied at the pockets.

Completion Date - The point where liquidated damages begin.

Liquidated Damages - A penalty for failing to achieve the impossible.

Auditor - A person who goes in after the war is lost and bayonets the wounded.

Lawyer - A person who goes in after the auditors and strips the bodies.



Source by Spencer Clarke

LEAVE A REPLY

Your email address will not be published.

*

Currently you have JavaScript disabled. In order to post comments, please make sure JavaScript and Cookies are enabled, and reload the page. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser.

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.

Close